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Linda's Corner
Today I thought I would tell the BBQ tale from end to beginning, only because it seemed the end would never come. Returning from the Taste of Grand Rapids contest The BBQ Guy Cooking Team pulled into their Plymouth driveway about 8:30 p.m. (an hour and ½ later than they should have). It seems that the Michigan Department of Transportation had decided to do a little road work and closed exit ramp after exit ramp on I-275--starting with OURS!!! With no signage that we could see to warn us, except for one small sign reporting an “8 minute delay”, which was placed after the last exit that we could have used prior to the exist for our house. If I have said this before I apologize, but apparently putting your blinker on in Michigan doesn’t mean “Please let me over”, it means “why don’t you NOT LET ME OVER I WANT TO RUN INTO THE BIG ORANGE BARRELS” (it’s okay mom didn’t run into any barrels sarcasm just overtook me). You see, even though everyone was going so slow I could have walked (and that is to say a lot after a BBQ Contest) faster than the traffic, no one seemed to want to let the BBQ mobile over as five lanes slowly merged to one. That one spot we would have taken was going to get them to their destination, oh say one or two seconds faster. The team went from calm, tense, to agitated, to ballistic over the next hour as we barely crept along. That last hour and half in the Explorer was not fun.
For the first time in history I got hotter than The BBQ Guy at a cook-off. The team had budgeted for a small inverter, which we had saved for turn ins to run our fan thinking that it would get us through those ever important 2 hours. WRONG!! It lasted about 45 minutes with only the box fan blowing. Let’s mark this down as one of the worst bbq buys we have ever made. Even with the heat the turn-ins went smoothly, too smoothly in fact. About the time we were finishing the pork turn-in box, Brian makes the comment of how good everything is going. OH NO, we both realize that we are now doomed to a mediocre finish. Without a BBQ disaster we can’t seem to make a good showing. I offered to go hysterical on The BBQ Guy, but he said premeditated stress and anger did not work. Ultimately, it is The Team Captain’s fault because I had gotten a lecture early on Friday on how I questioned all his BBQing organization, so I took a Chill Pill ( not a drug just a little calming meditation). Who knew that a nagging wife was an integral part of the competition?
OH my gosh, I almost forgot the most disgusting thing about this weekend. Imagine 57 cook teams and 2 port-a-potties. You know they are bad when the men are complaining about them. I would have thought there was some type of health regulation on the number of these things you have per head count. Last year I think there were 4, and I thought that was disgusting. It’s made worse by there not being running water at each site and no electricity to boot. These little “issues” made BBQing not quite as comfortable as usual. Comfortable, that makes me laugh and for those who hear my unabridged tales of BBQing probably are busting a gut about now. I guess a cook-off with the bare necessities makes me appreciate all the others. Oh for the days of the Florida Barbecue Association when all I had to complain about was dust and bugs. KCBS if you are out there listening maybe you should make it part of sanctioning requirements for there to be water at each site, or at least every 4 sites, because I see some really interesting cleaning methods by Saturday a.m. when the teams are tired of running to the water buffalo. This is just the opinion of the wife, who if you have met her, has many opinions about many things and will voice them to the dismay of her husband. Don’t take any of my opinions out on Brian.
The BBQ Guy finished last for the first time ever in a category and I have to get it out on the World Wide Web that it was because of me. I give him a lot of headaches, but I think I might have given him a heart ache over just seeing his name at the end of the list. You see way back when he handed me the application for Michigan State Championship as I was writing the check I see they have a bean category, so I checked it thinking any kind of beans. Well, as we start to cook on Friday afternoon I look at the entire entry packet and see it is Baked Beans, OOPS, I am cooking Dutch Oven Trail Beans. Brian says to go a head and turn them in to see what will happen. He will never let me do that again. Seeing his name in last place was a blow to the ego, even when he knew it was me that made the mess of it.
And now for the end, or let’s say, the beginning with the story of the tortoise and the hair. The BBQ Guy and I had seen “All Day Smoke” Cooking team at the Flying J where we made a pit stop. We decided not to stop to say HI because we knew he would leave us in the dust if we started at the same time. So we jumped on I-96 and said “Go-Explorer-Go” and I watched the rearview mirror knowing he would blow past us soon. It took almost to Grand Rapids for him to whiz past us. We decided this was fine we would follow him, but then he makes a turn not on my directions and I as navigator tell Brian to stick to the route and with this stealth move the BBQ Guy and his loyal teammate pulled into the cook area FIRST. The Fastest does not always arrive first, but in this case the fastest did finish higher in the overall standings at the cook-off—CONGRATS to All Day Smoke!!
Well it is the end or the beginning of my story, depending on how you read it. TheBBQGuy.com cooking team will be off in the month of August. Madison Ribberfest: we loved you last year, but with $3 gas and some Saturday work requirements by the real job we are staying at home. We actually enjoyed our back to back weekends of cooking and hope that the state of Michigan gets a few more contests organized. Our next stop will be Mears, MI in September. See you there!!!!
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